I felt like I should share this thought. It is from a book I am working on about trials and temptation. Hard things happen in life and as we face those things, having divine insight helps.

Painful Service

And when they had come to him, he said to them, "You yourselves know, from the first day that I set foot in Asia, how I was with you the whole time, serving the Lord with all humility and with tears and with trials which came upon me through the plots of the Jews; how I did not shrink from declaring to you anything that was profitable, and teaching you publicly and from house to house, solemnly testifying to both Jews and Greeks of repentance toward God and faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.
Act 20:18-21 NASB (Emphases added)

This snapshot deals with what it was like for Paul to take the gospel to Asia. It was time for the nations to hear about Jesus and the Kingdom of God. In the land of the Gentiles, Paul is seeking to advance the person and message of Jesus the Christ. Like Jesus Himself, pain, trials and suffering are a part of Paul’s journey too.

We could stumble into a romantic view of trials. God does use them to draw us closer to Himself so we could make the mistake of “calling evil good and good evil.” That is something I do not want us to do. God’s original intent was a garden where we enjoyed fruitful labor and fellowship with Him. Through our sin and the curse sin continues to bring, most all of the good we could enjoy is lost. It is the kindness of God to intervene in our pain and trials and redeem them. His love reaches to us through the misfortune and lifts us up. But we don’t want to call trials “good,” we just want to lean to rejoice in them because of Him. Earlier I stressed how trials are natural, not good or evil. The results of the trials have fruit or results that are good or evil.

Paul confesses in this passage that three things were a part of his coming to this community. Humility, tears and trials were real life conditions that brought a depth and reality as the Kingdom of God advances throughout the world. By being a person who did not run from these conditions, Paul had gained authority to minister to others. This authority from God was not based on title or status; it was based on servant hood, an issue we looked at in an earlier snapshot. Now we see what additional fruit comes from a heart of service.

We can read about the life of Paul and see the anointing that was on His life. We can see Paul as a great man of God. We can overlook the foundation of the man by looking at the fruit. When Paul was Saul, back in Damascus, God sent forth His call. Not many of us came to the Lord under the call to suffer for His name sake. Paul did and nations were blessed because of his faithfulness.

But the Lord said to him, "Go, for he is a chosen instrument of Mine, to bear My name before the Gentiles and kings and the sons of Israel; for I will show him how much he must suffer for My name's sake."
Act 9:15-16 NASB

We don’t know of Paul’s inner battles. God often conceals the inner battles that a person goes through. We do see that Paul did not shrink back, he gave it his all. In his service to the Gentiles, for the kingdom, Paul gave. Giving itself is a great test. We can often tell how deep love and service run in our hearts by our thoughts and emotions about giving. We can have an outward appearance of serving and giving, but the emotions of our heart and the thoughts of our mind reveal to us our authentic condition. I am not like Paul, but I have mowed a lawn or two.

When we moved to Peoria, IL, we had some neighbors that did not like children. These two elderly ladies were inclined to scream at my children, run out and take their balls when they entered their lawn and shout insults as you walk/run for your life down the sidewalk. It was a time when hostility and anger conflicted with love and sacrifice. I had fallen into the comfort of forgiving a wrong suffered, but the Lord had more in mind. And it was going to be a trial.

I felt the Lord ask me to mow the lawn for these women. So armed with the pride of serving the Lord I told them I would like to mow their lawn for them for free. “OK” was their reply, followed by instructions on trimming the bushes, moving gutters, repairing fences, putting in a garden, cleaning out gutters, moving air conditioners… What I thought was, “God calling me to a good deed to soften their heat,” was in reality something very different. God was calling me to years of service so that I might learn to be more like Him and freely give.

I can’t tell you the number of times I asked the Lord, “are you sure you asked me to do this?” I joked with people, if you do good but all the while you are doing good, you hate the fact you are doing it, does it still count? Do we lose our blessing when we obey without love? If so I lost years and years of blessings. Yet with a ten year trial comes ten yours of growth. You settle in to fight a good fight and your expectations dissolve into practical care.

I can recall one of life’s greatest days, as I lifted a shriveled up, urine saturated old lady from her bed and helped her find a moments comfort in a chair. There, looking into her tears of humility, she asked me to pray for her and with her. When the day comes when you cannot care for yourself, when you are trapped in your weakness, if you find someone caring for you, you have found a great treasure. Jesus does this for us and we can do it for one another. I know that not many elderly people make a transition into the kingdom late in life, but some do. I know that I am not like Paul and able to minister with authority to nations, but I have reached a neighbor. It was one of my greatest trials.

Trials, while being troublesome and not good, work in us what our Master Jesus and the great Saints of the Bible had – servant hearts. We move from pretenders to servants and in doing so the Kingdom of God flows out of our inner being and not just our mouth. We become those who give and give and give, and in time, forget that we did.