Rodney Drury: Struggling

Struggling


By Rodney Drury

I have tried over and over again to forget how good it is for me to struggle. This long hard winter has been a blessing and a reminder of that. I know it is somewhat controversial to talk about how temptation is good for us. We don’t hear many sermons on going out into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil unless we are talking about Jesus. While many of us are in the wilderness and we are there being tempted, we just pretend that it is not happening. We promote the blessings of God and tend to proclaim struggles as “un-faith” and curses.

This past month I have been teaching, learning really, about the last words of Jesus on the cross. My focus has been on a man who lovingly and patiently died a cruel death. Jesus endured pain, the pain of betrayal, isolation, pierced flesh and for the first time, sin. As He died, he care, loved, redeemed and expressed His heart to the Father. This is quite a contrast to me and my lifelong motto of, “when in question when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout”. When things are bad I run around shouting "me, me. me." When Jesus was dying His focus was on the Father and us.

Maybe I need struggles more than others. Maybe I have some baggage the struggles are seeking to reveal and relieve. Feeling sorry for myself and that “tricky form of pride” that self-love is, often is revealed in the struggles. Even though I understand what struggles my be doing in my life, I love to go through life victoriously. Even when I am not victerious, I often pretend to be so that I look victorious to others, to appear acceptable. The only joy I tend to have in tribulation is the joy of pretending that I don’t have tribulations. Wow! I just realized how fallen my nature is. Once again I discovered that I don't know what I don't know. What should I do?

My plan for getting through struggles is to work. I am going to work at resting in the Lord, work at trust, work at obedience, and work at overcoming evil with good. God gave Adam a job to do in the garden and I have some gardening of my own to do. I’m going to try and do what I know to do in faith, trusting God with my whole life. Often I lose sight of my whole life by over focusing on a moment or situation. Maybe then I can see what good God is developing in me as I struggle on.

Deep with in my heart, hidden most of the time, is a desire to be more like Jesus. I have a hope that Christ in me will produce a man who can go through some stuff and avoid the pitfall of self-focus. I want to be a husband, father, and man who can care for others even when my person life is more thorny than rosey. Don't misunderstand, I am not promoting a life of torment that good may result. I just want myself, all of us, to not waist the bad days. Let's allow God to redeem the time and the situations of our lives, going through the process of God using all that we go through for good.

Ofter I am looking at the situations of my life to see how good things are. God is often looking at my heart. The wilderness throughout Bible history has been barren on the outside but causing the inner-man to flourish. It may still be winter on the outside but spring is in my heart.