Indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead;
(2Co 1:9 NASB) Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.
(2Co 1:9 ESV) In fact, we felt sure that we were going to die. But this made us stop trusting in ourselves and start trusting God, who raises the dead to life.
(2Co 1:9 CEV) 

If you live with chronic pain, every day is fill with hurting.  Your awareness of this pain is moment by moment when it first starts out.  Over time you have bad hours and later on, bad days.  The pain may not have changed much, but your perception of it and the way you interact with that pain does.  I have found that I do not notice the ongoing pain until I have moments of no pain.  These moments awaken my soul to delight and joy.  It is like soaking in a hot tub or feeling the sensation of a warm shower refreshing you.  The lack of ongoing pain awakens you to feel alive again.

I believe the same is true in regards to living in a culture of man-made Christianity.  In this man created version of Christianity all things circle around the man, the created being.  The message, the purpose, the gospel, the mission; all are centered on humankind.  The rest of creation, the earth, the sky, even angles are only playing a needful role around humanity in this re-creation story.  In time and because of this ongoing culture, God shrinks and is brought into the hovering circle of things centered on and around man.

Once a worldview of man and God has been re-formed numerous doctrines, practices and missions develop to promote the wellbeing of this view.  Teachings, success stories, promotions and marketing is done within the culture so that everyone knows the value and truth of making man the center.  Debates do happen from time to time but only for the purpose of diversity and only if an older or more conservative view is dismissed or “matured from”.

Then, by scripture or spiritual coach or saint; some truth is displayed upon the shadow land of our life and we see, if only for a moment, illumination impossible.  This shining, this insight, this revelation is not at all from us.  We desired no such telling, no such awakening.  Apart from us and without our consent, we are asked to die, to take our created place and make room for eternity and its Master.

So if you are a created being and desire to live in right relationship with God, you must embrace death.  Not just the death of days on earth but the death of man in the middle.  As the three above translations seek to express, we cannot save ourselves.  Christianity is not a religion where the one with the most will power wins.   Christianity is about created living beings allowing life to enter into them through the work of God (the real center).  This infilling happens through death.  God does not live to make our life better, as one man made version of the remaking of Christianity says. 

So I want to leave you with some words of an early spiritual coach.

And He summoned the crowd with His disciples, and said to them, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. "For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel's will save it. "For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul? "For what will a man give in exchange for his soul? "For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels."
(Mar 8:34-38 NASB)

When God gives you want He wants

You have some choices to make

Just choose not to re-make Him